Private entry again. Her journal is in her drawer, hidden from the staff and patientsI only seem to write in this at the holidays. It's almost Christmas. When mum wasn't fucked up off her face, she would be a twitter with holiday cheer. The house would be dripping with decorations. She would be baking. So much baking. Biscuits, fudge, breads. I miss that smell. At the time I hated it, her pushing me to help her, even when I said no, or pretended to be busy with school work. Wrapping, I'm really awful wrapper. I can't get my corners right for shit.
Tony is probably home for the holidays, maybe Michelle is with him. I wonder what they're doing. Pandora is completely into the holidays, maybe she's trying to get Thomas into them as well. I wonder if they're still together. Freddie. I miss him. I hope he's moved on, and is happy. Christ, what is being happy anyways? Freddie is never happy. I'm never happy. We're a pair of miserable bastards. We deserve each other.
I just want to go home. I don't feel any different from the day I stepped foot in here. I'll never be better. I'm destined to be off the rails. Nothing is going to change that.
[/Private]